Saturday 24th January 2009 - Fleet Pond, Hampshire

This weekend I went to stay with a good friend of mine from University. He is also profoundly deaf. On the Saturday we went for a walk around Fleet Pond and at first the walk was through some woodland and some streams nearby and I heard a whole lot of new sounds.

There was quite alot of birdsong. There were different types of bird song and also there was the nasty crow sound.

I could hear the water in the nearby stream. It was interesting how the water rushing sound different depending on the obstacles in the water affecting the flow of the water. Also when further around the pond, where the water from the lake lapped at the path we were walking on, I could hear the water lapping at the edge. I had never heard that before. Then there were some ducks, and for the first time ever I heard them quack!! It took a long time coming cos in the summer I couldn't hear them quack yet. There is the railway line next to the lake and I could hear the train as they rattle by and the planes going for Heathrow.

This evening. my friend and I went out for a meal with another CI user who use BSL and her fiancee. It was brilliant that we could meet up as we had so much to talk about and we shared the same ecperiences with our cochlear implants and we both have Freedoms :-)

Wednesday 21st January 2009 - The Table Tennis Match

After work today, I had a table tennis match where I play in the local District Table Tennis League. Everyone there is hearing and I am the only Deaf person there. Last year I used to dread the matches cos I cant hear anything and I can't hear the score being called out and when we had the breaks, everyone would chat and I would not have a clue what was being said.

I noticed something new tonight during the match. I started to be able to hear the score being called out - both when I was watching and when I was playing. The only time I could hear the score being called out depended on the person being a loud and clear speaker and when it was announced at a time when there was NO other sound happening at the same time (so for example - between the moment of the ping pong ball bouncing on the table or off the bats) but then even when the conditions were perfect I didnt hear it every time. I found it kinda helps being able to hear the score sometimes when you were playing as it helped remind you where you were in the game and you could keep your eyes fixed on the ball. However when we had the coffee break I was still completely unable to follow the conversation, but thanks goodness for my new mobile phone which is a Blackberry is able to receive my personal emails as well as my text messages, so I had loads of emails in my inbox so I used that time to reply to my emails :-)

Saturday 17th January 2009 - CI users who use BSL social meet up

Today a group of us who are profoundly deaf from birth, grown up in the Deaf World and use BSL and all implanted as adults at my cochlear implant centre met up in a coffee bar. This was the first time all of the BSL cochlear implant users (except one) met up together from our CI Centre implanted as adults. We did also have someone with us who is thinking about having a cochlear implant who also grown up in the Deaf World so our social meet up was useful for her too. It was brilliant as we all realised that we all have exactly the same experience and we were able to share and compare notes and experiences and ask each other questions.. have you experienced this or that and also compare our speech and language session exercises and we all knew what the other was talking about, how long was it before you heard that etc etc. It was so confident building and it helped all of us although we were at different stages it really helped to understand what we were going through as we were coming from the same angle -been profoundly deaf all our lives and we all grew up in Deaf World and we couldn't stop signing/talking about our experiences. We are looking forward to our next meet up as we had plenty to talk about.

Tuesday 13th January 2009 - Cats are noisy!!

This morning I went back to the hospital for tuning. We sorted the tuning out and straight away - "ah that's better!" The sounds were balanced again and it became clear again. I had listening and speech practice afterwards and we practiced saying the "z". I have never ever been able to say that letter in my life!! Now I am just starting to.

I then went to work and noticed a different in the clarify of sound again in the office environment. No new sound or recognised phrases been picked up without lip-reading though.

However...

Tonight after work I went to a friend's house for tea and good chat to catch up with the gossip and news. In fact the whole family are very good friends of mine and they have four daughters and two of them are profoundly deaf and have cochlear implants. Both of the deaf daughters are few years younger than me and they have had their cochlear implant for 8 years. We had a lovely meal in their kitchen and then suddenley whilst we were talking there was this noise I had never ever heard before.. it was the cat!! It miaowed!! Wow!! They can be noisy!!

Monday 12th January 2009 - Skiing at Milton Keynes

Today I had booked the day off work and went skiing at the Sno dome in Milton Keynes with a deaf friend. We were both skiing at the sno dome last night too. We had a brilliant time and I could hear the snow under my skis and when I was going up the slope on the ski lift (button lift) I was aware of music playing in the background. I hardly fall whilst skiing, but today I fell!! Ouch!! It was because there was suddenly an ice patch and then some very deep snow immediately afterwards! My cochlear implant was fine, it was under my helmet and protected. After I had lunch with a deaf friend, I then got a text from my Uncle confirming my skiing holiday to Switzerland was going ahead. I then had to dash home to book my flights. I got my flights booked.

Saturday 10th January 2009 - The Grand Cafe

Today I went and had a lovely cooked breakfast in the same cafe that I went to with my family just after my switch on of my CI. This was the first time that I had been back in this cafe and I noticed a MASSIVE difference!! I remember on switch on day (Monday 3rd March 2008) when I went into this cafe, I could not hear anything, although I was aware of a vibration when my knife and fork made contact with the plate. Today I noticed all sorts of sounds. There was the cutlery on plates, glasses clunking over at the bar, music playing in the background, general chatter and the whooshing sound coming from the coffee machine when it steams. I never heard any of that when I went in on switch on day.. made me realised how far I had come!!

Friday 9th January 2009 - Pizza Express

Tonight after work I went out for a meal with a Deaf friend (also a BSL user and has a cochlear implant). We went and ate in Pizza Express. I noticed that my CI was starting to go out of tune... some sounds were getting quieter (the low frequency ones) and the high frequency ones were getting louder. In Pizza Express sometimes the sound of clanging cutlery was soo loud. Ouch. I thought well, I am not going to worry about it, I have a tuning on Tuesday, I will manage until then.

Thursday 8th January 2009 - Dying Nokia Communicator, hello Blackberry !

Yesterday my mobile phone started playing up, it had stopped receiving text messages. So I went to my mobile phone store and spoke to them about what to do as I am heavily dependent on text messaging with being profoundly deaf. I was worried about communication to the staff there in the store. Anyway i went and explained that I am profoundly deaf and that they need to look at me when talk. They did just that and the guy was brilliant and the CI really made it easier to lip-read him. I couldnt believe that he was easy to follow as he looked at me and spoke clearly and if I didnt understand he wrote down. Anyway my mobile had stopped receiving texts for no reason and so I needed a new handset, but they dont do Nokia Communicators anymore. I told them that I rely on text messaging and I need email and internet on the move. I managed to get a really good deal and ended up getting a blackberry for the same price I have been paying monthly on my old contract. Brilliant.

Monday 5th January 2009 - noise in my car

Today I went back to work and had a VERY early start as I had to be at work by 9am and I was commuting from Worcester in the snow. I left my parents house at 6.30am to get back to the South of England.

It was a snowy and icy start. But the roads were clear. I noticed something that started as I turned out of my parents drive. Everytime I steered right there was this "clinking" sound. I could not work out what it was and I was worried that there might be something wrong with the car. I headed down the motorways for my 2 hour journey and there was no clink sound as I was driving straight. Just as I came off the motorway for the last leg of the journey to work (20mins drive on A road) and clink started again and I ran out of screen wash and I really needed to refill it. So I stopped at a garage to refill the screen wash and then I saw the very thing that was causing the clink sound every time I steered right. On the floor of the passenger side were two de-icer cans side by side. Ah that's it.. as I turned right gravity forced them together hence the clinking sound. I moved one of the cans and the sound did not come back again. Phew! Wasn't the car then.

Happy New Year 2009

We had a fairly quiet day at home as we all had a very late night last night. No new sounds today that I am aware of except the TV and the hi fi are very loud.

New Year's Eve 2008

Last day of this great year!!

I went for coffee with my teacher of the Deaf who was my teacher from when I was 2 years old until 11 years old and since then we have kept in touch as good friends. At lunchtime we went to the pub and had a lovely meal.

This evening I went to my local Deaf Club and it was nice to see my friends there again. We had to wear fancy dress and over the last few days I had been making my fancy dress costume as a clockwork mouse. I didn't win though. But we had a great evening and I spent the first few moments of 2009 stamping on balloons bursting them as we cheered the New Year in. There was another man who is a regular member at the Deaf Club whom I have seen there for years who has a cochlear implant and he had his for 12 years. I had never really spoken to him before and now that I have been implanted we both had a really good chat tonight in BSL comparing our cochlear implant experiences and with his cochlear implant, he remains very active in the Deaf World and Deaf Community like me. Got home at 3am!!

I have a few notes to say about 2008:

2008 - Wow!! What a year of change!! May the positive journey with the CI continue long into 2009.

I find it funny commenting on 2008. I remember Christmas Eve 2007 was when I had received the news that my CI op was going ahead and scheduled for 4th February was confirmed. I remember spending last Christmas and New Year being excited about the fact that I was getting cochlear implanted whilst at the same I was alittle nervous about the operation as I don't like hosptials (because I am very squeamish) and I can't stand being out of action. I have been able to relax this Christmas as everything is going well with the CI.

As I said before in my post of 13th December 2008, I mentioned that, apart from the brilliant support of my Cochlear implant centre, my Mum and my hearing friends and my Deaf friends, I had sort of been on my own from March to July trying to adjust to the cochlear implant with limited support of other adult cochlear implant users (implanted as adults). It was only in July that I started meeting other cochlear implanted adults (implanted as adults) on a regular basis. I met another Deaf CI user who grew up in the Deaf World and used BSL with whom I have regular contact. She gives me good support and continues to support me now and we have become really good friends and we now meet up on a regular basis as we live quite near. Since November, I have met many more Deaf people (BSL users as well as non BSL users) who have grown up with deafness and then implanted as adults whom I have become good friends with too and these are developing all the time. Before July I had to rely solely on the support from my CI centre, my colleagues and hearing friends who help me with the listening practices and my Mum and all of my Deaf and hearing friends with the struggles of adjusting to the world of sound when coming from silent world. They still continue to support me now.

There seems to be (maybe I am wrong) but there seem to be lots of resources and support for Deaf children with cochlear implants. I have noticed that the needs of some deafened people seem to differ to those who are born deaf / grown up deaf in making sense of speech with cochlear implants. Those with more memory of speech and had the ability to comprehend speech pre implant seem to comprehend speech better and alot quicker with their cochlear implants than people like me who were born deaf and never been able to comprehend speech without lip-reading.

I have been made more aware of hearing culture. For those of us who use British Sign Language (BSL) like myself and coming from the Deaf World, we have absorbed and grown up with Deaf Culture and it was for me quite hard work trying to make sense of the hearing world and its hearing culture. From a cultural perspective, meeting more people who have grown up as Deaf BSL users in the Deaf Community implanted as adults and who are still just as involved in the Deaf World who has come through that adjustment or who are still adjusting has really helped my confidence and helped me to understand the processes and the changes I am going through and know that everything I am going through with the CI bad and good are perfectly normal for our group of CI users. It is also good to compare and share our experiences with those who have grown up deaf in the hearing world. It is confidence boosting as we are all in the same boat, share similar experiences, we are not alone and can support each other along the way. Having a cochlear implant does not change who I am, it is just to make life easier for me in the hearing world where I work and my career progression, communicating with my family, communicating with the public and to improve my health and safety in the outdoors and my enjoyment of music. Afterall, its like an extra powerful hearing aid and therefore does not change my preferred method of communication which is BSL and my Deaf Identity. I like to make the most of both worlds - the Deaf World and the hearing world.

I am amazed that there is suddenly a big group of us who have grown up with deafness (BSL users and non BSL users) who have been implanted during the last year and lots of prospective ones too. I am also not the only BSL user who has been deaf from birth who has been implanted as an adult either - and I am amazed here that there are more and more of us BSL users in the Deaf Community considering cochlear implants and being implanted as some of us used to be against cochlear implants full stop (me included). A greater awareness of the needs and cochlear implant experience of all those who have grown up as D/deaf who have been cochlear implanted as adults is now starting to develop as cochlear implantation also seem to be spreading amongst the Deaf Community and it is good that their Deaf identity and use of BSL has been retained. I have several signing Deaf friends (adults) who are now thinking of having cochlear implants and have been asking me loads of questions on what is it like to have a cochlear implant. I shall refer them to my blog.

The staff at my cochlear implant centre and those at the Ear Foundation are fantastic and they really listen to you when you need advice and they give you really good advice or put you in the right direction to get the support you need. Whenever I have problems with my Cochlear Implant and its processor and accessories like batteries, my cochlear implant centre are brilliant at getting me seen very quickly to help sort out problems out very quickly and I am so thankful for everything that they have done for me including all the medical stuff (operation), technical (tuning and CI processor accessories) and for the speech and language side of things as well as support and guidance. And I am also really thankful to my friends who help me with listening practice in the evenings and am really thankful for the support and encouragement that all my friends give as well as my Mother when the going was tough. My Mum told me to explain to people who don't know why I have difficulty comprehending speech is to tell them that what I hear of people speaking sounds like a foreign language that one doesn't understand.

As a result I am feeling so much happier and positive with my CI, and as I have been switched on now for 10 months, it is REALLY improving now since November. I know exactly where I stand now with my CI, music is so much better its beyond belief and I hear so many environmental sounds and its so nice to know about some of the sounds in the environment although I still get confused with some of them and I still can't hear everything as this is all still developing. I still cannot follow speech in groups and still need to lipread when communicating on a one to one basis in an everyday environment. However although communication with lipreading on a one to one basis has improved, groups chats and communicating in noisy environments are still impossible so I keep my expectations low here as these are alot harder.

Roll on 2009 for further improvements and another successful year.

Happy New Year to you all!!

p.s. No photos to show you this Christmas I'm afraid - my camera broke 2 weeks before Christmas - too late to ask Father Christmas for a new one!!

Monday 29th December 2008 - a quiet day

We had a quiet day staying at my parents house. I spent most of the day on my lap top catching up with my blogs, emails and chatting to my friends on MSN in the kitchen.

A few new things I have noticed: The TV in my parents' living room is really really loud and I am in the kitchen which is 2 rooms away!! I couldn't believe it. I asked my mum, is it me or the TV? Mum said its the TV as Dad is going deaf and has the volume right up to near the end. It was funny me commenting on the volume of the TV as I would never have noticed before. I said to Mum that Dad needs to get a hearing aid rather than deafen the rest of the family!! Also later on in the day, my Dad was on the phone and he was really talking loudly down that - I couldn't believe it!! I can also hear new sounds in the house - the central heating tapping the pipes :-)

Sunday 28th December 2008 - Meeting my Dad's brother

Today we met my Dad's brother and his wife and we went for a really nice meal. It was lovely to see them again, and although I could not follow conversation in the group, it was easier to follow on a one to one. I notice that my Uncle has a pretty strong South Wales accent.

Later that evening I went to one of my friends houses and we played games all evening and had a great time.

Boxing Day 2008 - On the Malverns

It was a jolly chilly day, but we had a lovely walk on the south end of the Malvern Hills from Castlemorton up to the oblelisk past Gullet Quarry. I could hear a few birds that were around and people talking as we past them (not the words) and could hear the crunching sound from the leaves and stones and twigs as we walked on them. My sister and my mum played a game like rounders using a twig and a stone and from 15 metres away I could hear the stone being hit by the twig.

Afterwards we went to a local pub for a drink and for some chips. They had a log fire going and i could hear the snapping of the wood in the fire.

Christmas Day 2008 - With the family

Christmas Day this year was just the four of us at my parents in Worcester. We had a great day with opening presents, eating, drinking with quiet music in the background. I could hear the music in the background quite well. And although I still can't communicate as a group, one to one communication was easier.

I have been quite lucky with presents this year, I got loads of stuff including a pair of Salomon ski boots, books on the London Underground, some CDs I wanted, the Super Mario Bros Ninetendo game etc.

A great day but I didnt hear the bells on the Cathedral though??

Christmas Eve 2008 - Home and Worcester Cathedral

After work today, some friends and I from work played Bop it after the pub. One of my friends and I have been playing Bop it in the evenings as part of listening practice with the cochlear implant as it was recommended by another friend who also has her cochlear implant at about the same time as me. I was planning to buy Bop it a few years back but didn't as i realised I wouldn't be able to hear it. After practising, I can now tell when the voice command says Bop it, pull it and spin it... but I cannot get the rest and get incredibly confused with flick it and twist it and pass it and bop it, so still need my hearing friends to help point at which one of those the voice command is saying.

Tonight I drove to my parents to Worcester for the Christmas holidays. I was quite looking forward to it as this would be the first time that we are all at home as a foursome (my sister came to Worcester too) since improvements has occured with the cochlear implant. I was interested to see how much more would I be able to pick up from communication.

We had a nice meal together and mulled wine before going to the Cathedral for the Midnight service. I still can't follow the family chat, but I had noticed that they were relaying and helping me out more as they found it easier to talk to me one to one.

We went to the Cathedral and I was looking forward to this too, as this is a family tradition and we have been doing this for years. I only started asking the Cathedral to book me a sign language interpreter for these services 3 years ago after years of just sitting there not being able to follow the service and therefore not being able to take part. The cathedral has booked me the same sign language interpreter again and it was a lovely service and I was able to take part fully. I was also interested to find what new sounds there would be tonight.

And there were... although I still relied on the BSL interpreter to interpret all the spoken stuff as I still can't make sense of those with the implant. However, I could hear the organ and was very interested to hear how complex it sounded with all the different frequencies playing at the same time. Also it was interesing to hear the choir and to hear the treble and the bass and the harmony going on between the two at the same time - I had never noticed that before either. It was also certainly alot easier to sign along to the carols with being able to hear the carols. Two of the carols that was sung were "O Little Town of Bethlehem" and "It came upon the Midnight Clear" and that along with "Little Donkey" (which wasnt sung at the Cathedral of course) are my fav Christmas carols this year.

An interesting experience.

Tuesday 23rd December 2008 - A sad day apart from the brass band

Found out today that one of my close friends who I went to North Wales with died yesterday from breast cancer. I was so sad and shocked as I saw her last on Friday night (19th December) and she was fine and it was rather sudden downhill decline.

On a brighter note, tonight after work, I went to Tesco again and with tomorrow being Christmas Eve, I had to park my car a fair distance from the store entrance. From my car I noticed that I could hear a brass instrument and a brass band playing some Christmas carols and it sounded like "While Shepherds Watched their Flocks by Night". I could not work out where the band was as I could not see them. Anyway I walked closer to the store and found the brass band playing in the porch at the store's entrance.. I could not believe that I heard the brass band from the other side of the car park!! Wow!!

Friday 19th December 2008 - Peter Rabbit puts on his Christmas bells badge

I have this adorable toy rabbit called Peter Rabbit who is a puppet and he goes nearly everywhere with me and is well loved by myself, some members of my family (my Mum and my Sister) and alot of my friends.

Every year since Christmas 2006 one of my friends put this badge of Christmas bells on his blue jacket and he did the same again this year. I have never heard the bells. This year I heard the bells for the first time and it is pretty noisy. I now have to tell Peter Rabbit to be quiet.

Sunday 14th December 2008 - Family Christmas Party

Every year my Mum's side of the family host a family Christmas Party where we all get together, catch up with news, eat, drink, play games and exchange presents. Today we had another one of these.

As communication for me is so difficult I usually stay with my Mum as she helps translates for me. Today was different. This is the first time I was there with my Cochlear Implant. People were interested to hear how I was getting on. Then we had to play some games and we had to team up with someone who we didn't come in the same car as. I went with my Mum's older brother. And to my amazement, I found that I could communicate with him no problem with lip-read of course. I couldn't believe it, I could never talk to him in as much detail before and this was the first time I could have really good deep conversations with him. As communication was good, we paired up really well in the Christmas games. This has increased my confidence, and I found myself as the party went on, talking to other members of the family on a one to one basis alot more independently and without relying on my Mum. I could not believe it. Everyone was really pleased.

Saturday 13th December 2008 - The Ear Foundation Christmas Party

I went along to the Ear Foundation Christmas Party and had a brilliant time. I met some of my friends who I speak to regularly on MSN, met some of the Ear Foundation Staff and made some more new friends. I find it very interesting to see a large number of born deaf, grown up deaf suddenly be implanted this year including myself and most of us are in our 20s and 30s. We all find that we have similar experience with our cochlear implants as most of us have similar backgrounds and its so good to support one another and compare notes. Apart from the brilliant support of my CI centre, my Mum, my hearing friends and my Deaf friends, I had been sort of on my own from March to July as I didn't really know another Cochlear Implant user with a similar background as me (born deaf and implanted as an adult) who I could meet up with and speak to on a regular basis to compare notes apart from one person who I am becoming friends with who was implanted at my CI centre the week before me and another friend who is the husband of a work friend.

We had a great time together at the party, great to see some of the staff too and enjoyed the quiz and trying to sign Twelve days of Christmas. Well done and thanks to Abi, Katie and Dave who organised it.

There was a new sound coming back to Worcester on the train from Birmingham New Street. I had to change trains at Birmingham New Street. Whilst walking above the platforms to change trains I notice a beep beep sound kept happening all over the place. I have never noticed it before. Then after a while I realised it was text messages arriving in people's mobile phones!! I couldn't believe it. Then once I got on the Worcester train, I sat at a table seat where there was a group of three women who had been shopping together. Anyway they were talking away. I thought I'd use this as an opportunity for group talk practice where it didn't matter if I couldn't follow. I tried to lip-read the woman sitting directly opposite me and I managed to get a few words. But I couldn't get what the other two woman were saying, but I picked up that the woman opposite me was talking about a school using a clip from the Blackadder comedy programme to illustrate something as part of a history lesson and said that it was a good idea to use it.

That night when I got home, my Mum's middle brother and his wife was there and we had a lovely meal together. I still couldn't follow the conversation so still relied on my Mum to translate for me. I noticed my Dad started to help me out too!!