New 32GB Ipod touch

Today, I also bought a brand new Apple ipod touch (2nd generation) and 32GB. It is amazing gadget and how now I really wish I have an iphone and not my current BlackBerry!! Roll on October to my mobile upgrade date!!

Currently now uploading the lyrics onto itunes for all of my songs in my itunes library so that it can be synced to my ipod and at least I finally have the words!!!! With my CI, music is amazing, and now with sound and words available via the written lyrics showing up on my ipod, I have alot of learning to do!!!

Conference speaking!!

Today, I spoke at the CI conference in London "Advancing technologies" and spoke to hearing and audiology professionals about the BSL user perspectives of their experience of having a CI. As I am a proud BSL user from a Deaf background, I decided to use BSL to present my presentation and used the interpreters to voice over for me. It was brilliant despite my nerves when I was sat there on the Northern Line tube train (which deliberately decided to have delays) especially when I wanted my presentation over and done with. I kept thinking "Oh I'm gonna forget to mention this and that etc"! But despite the delays on the Northern Line, I still got there on time as I made sure I allowed for delays!!

However, as soon I had got up to speak in front of 150+ people, introduced myself, my nerves vanished, I became more relaxed, I remembered my words without looking at the script and just used my powerpoint bullet points as triggers and away I went and I had fun.

It went down extremely well with people. It was a real eye opener for people to be aware of the cultural issues that arise (grown up with Deaf Culture in Deaf World and trying now to understand "hearing culture"). Also that CIs for us are no "quick fix" and that we still rely on BSL for access although one to one is easier PROVIDING the speaker is deaf aware!

However I got challenged at the end.... there was an older man who was obviously born hearing, grown up hearing culture who was deafened later in life. He was asking me "Why did you use BSL when presenting and not use your voice?" I explained that BSL is my natural language and I have a Deaf identity and belong to Deaf World and so I should portray this as that is part of me and where I am from. My voice is not exactly that clear, kinda monotoned and whilst speaking across a hall of 150+ people, I'm not sure if all will understand me nor hear me? How do I know if I am projecting my voice loud and clear enough?

I am pleased to be able to get out there and raise awareness of the experiences of CI with born Deaf, Culturally Deaf BSL users.

Don't Panic!!! I'm still here!!

Hey all,

Sorry long time no speak! Life has been mega hectic and busy, not helped by a problematic laptop. Now I have a new laptop that is much much faster and reliable and therefore more free time available so can update my blog - hopefully more regularly.

What have the going ons been since October?

My implant has continued to be a massive rollercoaster. Environmental sounds and music are very very good through my implant so I am really happy with it there for those things. However, I really hate my implant for voices in groups situations and hearing voices as background noise as they all sound like a shed of chickens that makes no sense at all, even when just trying to follow something being said between two people, especially when no Deaf awareness is applied. Voice through an implant sounds best through an FM system or in quiet rooms where there is NO other sound, but I still need to lip-read and still need the person to be Deaf Aware. I am still unable to understand what is being said on a radio, so those are still out of my life. As for music, cinema and TV, providing I have the lyrics and subtitles in front of me, am able to follow along and with the pace of it quite well. Had a great time seeing Avatar 3D with subtitles recently and it was great to get the full picture thanks to the subtitles.

As a result of having been able to identify the places where I get benefit from my implant and the places / situations where I dont get benefit from my implant, it makes it easier when to call in the interpreter at work. Where I can lipread the person then my interpreters know to let me lip-read and they monitor closely the communication situation and they seem to know immediately when I am lost or start to be lost and they step in to my rescue at the right time. I know the situations (e.g. groups) and the people who I cannot follow, so I automatically go back my old way and use BSL and interpreter 100% for that.

The current biggest battle I am facing at the moment is the attitude of some hearing people outside of work. My work colleagues are excellent in meeting and understanding my needs. However, I am having some real struggles with communication and the attitude of some hearing people outside of work. Some people who known me since before my CI who were Deaf aware before have ditched their deaf awareness since I got my CI and now I find it impossible or extremely hard work tyo communicate with them. I find that quite upsettting and very frustrating. There are also the attitude of some hearing people out there who have discriminated me cos they have expected me to understand what they are saying cos I have implant my speech is good. I feel like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall sometimes and I am so exhausted and fed up with having to remind people that it is not a quick fix and that due to my history of deafness since birth, speech comprehension is very very unlikely and that they STILL need to face me and be DEAF AWARE when they talk to me. Also, I have alot of CONFUSION re hearing culture, and am finding that quite difficult to adapt to. Due to this so much hard work, I don't wear my implant everyday - it takes alot out of me. I wear it most days in the week, but there are a couple of switch off days where I can go back to my old ways.

However, I am delighted to be invited to speak at two forthcoming conferences on CIs where I will be speaking about the born Deaf BSL user perspective on the experience of hearing with a CI.

Finally....at long last!!! Thursday 8th October 2009

Hey Guys, sorry long time no type.. it has been such a manic summer, and it has just flown by!! Anyway, now 18 months into having my CI, I still have ups and downs as I deal with new situations. The good stuff is that music and environment sounds is so plentiful and clearer. Speech is still hard to understand and I find background noise a real hindrance!!

Background noise at work is unbearable that I find that I have to take the CI off in order to concentrate as background noise is louder than what I want to hear and I dont have any control over that!! and there is one particular sound at work that has an effect on me same as nails stratching down a blackboard!! eugh!! When its quiet in the office then CI is great and clear. When there's noise then everything gets distorted and loud :-(

Newest sounds are: hearing the sauce bubbling in the casserole dish as I took it out of the oven last night.

Sunday 27th September 2009 - St Aubin, Jersey

Today was the first day of my holiday in Jersey and I went with one of my good CI friends. We had a great time.

On the first day we went and had a cup of tea in our B&B garden which was in the sun and had excellent sea views. There was a church nearby and suddenley the bells chimed and it made me jump out of my skin!! I didnt know what it was! Then Abi told me that it was the church bells! Also I have never heard so much screeching, siren like sounds before by the sea side and it was the sea gulls!! Gosh how you hearing people put up with that?? When we went for a walk on the beach later we could hear the waves on the beach and also the sand crunching beneath our feet.. I was amazed :-)

Wednesday 2nd September 2009 - Fizz!

Tonight a friend came round for pizza. I was pouring the coke out of the bottle into a glass and then there was this fisssssssss noise. I had no idea what that was and then it turned out to be the fizz at the top of the coke in the glass. I had no idea they made sounds like that!

Friday 14th August 2009 - U2 concert, Wembley Stadium, London

I had an amazing experience tonight when I went to see my favourite band U2 play live in concert at Wembley. U2 has been my fav band for 19 years and this was the first time I have seen them play live in concert. Also when I was at school, I used to play some of their songs on the electric guitar and in a group, so I know their songs and the chords really well. Anyway, tonight I could hear them really well with my cochlear implant and they were so clear and I could hear all the details except identify what the words were to the songs but I knew them anyway. I also had my hearing aid in the other ear which is the most powerful hearing aid (digital) that is available as I am so profoundly deaf. Anyway, during one of the songs I decided to compare what I could hear of the concert with each ear. I removed the magnet of the CI and lo and behold - the music just went!!! I could not hear the music with my hearing aid!! and it was over 80 dB in the stadium!! That just shows how much I am getting with my CI and how little I get with my hearing aid and what I had to put up with over the years!! Then I put my CI back on and the music came back loud and clear. I switched off the hearing aid and it made no difference to what I was hearing overall as really I was only hearing through my CI. It was a fantastic evening :-)

Thursday 18th June 2009 - Alarms!!

Tonight I was sitting at home at my house with my lap top in the living room. Sudden there was this alarm sounding. I thought perhaps it was inside my house like the smoke alarm or my burglar alarm and as I went to investigate it wasnt that. So I went outside to try and locate the sound. With being able to hear that sound with one ear, it is impossible to locate the sound. Then my neighbour came out too to see what the sound was. They listened for me to try and locate the sound and it turned out to be the burglar alarm of a neighbour's house 2 houses away!! I couldnt believe I could hear that!

Thursday 21st May 2009 - Cochlear Information Evening

Tonight I went to an information evening and this was good as it was present by my cochlear implant manufacture and they gave us more information about our cochlear implant. I met Charlotte and Sarah there and we had a great time. I learnt alittle more about my CI and good to meet other people.

Monday 11th May 2009 - Routine Tuning

Went back to the CI centre today for routine tuning and also to try and solve why I get clicks or crackles sometimes instead of normal beeps during tuning. One of the tech staff from Cochlear was there and we solved the problem... it was cos my skin is too thin and so the distance between the internal and external are too close. I now have an extra piece on my magnet which has solved this problem :-)

Sunday 10th May 2009 - new sound

Went into the city centre today with a friend and I noticed a new sound - church bells - I had never noticed that before in the city centre.

Friday 8th May 2009 - tuning

I have been having problems with my CI that one of the electrodes keeps turning itself up every two weeks then causing me pain :-( I have been going back and forth to the CI centre to have this electrode turned down. Today we have switched that electrode off and so I have 21 on instead of the full 22.

My God - what a difference it made.....much more comfortable and also the sounds sounded better. Today went to the pub at lunchtime with work and providing my colleagues in the group spoke one at a time and looked at me, I was able to follow the conversation for the FIRST time!!

Sunday 26th April 2009 - More animals!!

Today I went to Bristol on the train and met a long standing friend there who is also born profoundly deaf and use BSL and was implanted with a cochlear implant 2 years ago.

We went to visit Bristol zoo and we had a great time and it was interesting to hear the lions roar and the noise of the birds, and flamingos. I also heard the penguins make a funny noise and the seals roar. It was a good experience...even though it will take me a while to remember each of those sounds. Afterwards we walked abit around the Clifton Suspension Bridge and I am amazed by there being quite a few birds there.

When I got my connection train, the tannoy went on that one too, but it was squawk sqauawk squawk....goodness knows what it said!! Also I am completely unable to understand them on station platforms!!

Friday 24th April 2009 - The BSL CIsers are growing!

Tonight after work, I met the newest person who was born profoundly deaf and use BSL who was implanted at my CI centre. She was feeling low and disappointed with her CI so it was good that she met me, as I have been through exactly the same. She felt much better after meeting me and so was glad that I could help.

Sunday 19th April 2009 - The Cliff Railway

Today whilst still at Aberystwyth, after a great hearty Welsh breakfast with sea view, I then went and explored the sea front before I met my cousin again at lunchtime. As I walked along the sea front towards Consitution Hill where the cliff railway was, I noticed the sound of the sea and the birds there. I walked along the beach and noticed the sounds of the waves and water brushing pass the rocks on the beach. It was very interesting. Next I headed onto the cliff railway and I could hear the mechanism on the cable on the track and the electrical humming as it is pulled up the hill, and could also hear the rattling of the wheels of the passing funicular car that was making it way downhill. Magnificant sounds at the top but the only sounds that I was aware off were those of the wind.

When I headed downhill again on the funicular railway, half way down, I noticed this distinctive sound and realised that it was a blackbird. As I cannot locate the sound, I had to look for this blackbird and found it perched on top of a telegraph pole as I was passing it. I watched its beak as it sang and realised that the beak movements matched the sound - so amazing!!

Saturday 18th April 2009 - Aberystwyth, Wales

I caught the train this morning to go to Aberystwyth to visit my cousin who is at Uni there. I had to change trains at Birmingham International. I not notice any new sounds though. I arrived at Aberystwyth and my cousin met me. We got to my B&B which is well recommended (Yr Hafod) and I met the manager there. He was a lovely man, very Welsh with a good sense of humour.. but.. I struggled to understand him due to his Welsh accent!! He was vewry patience.

That afternoon my cousin and I went to visit this animaliaruim at Borth. That was a good experience for to hear the animals and the birds. My cousin helped me to identify any new sounds. They included - laughing kookeburra, peacock and goat.

In the evening we had a fantastic bbq on the beach. New sounds for me here were the sea gulls, the waves on the beach and the crunching of the sand / pebbles beneath my feet on the beach.

Monday 13th April 2009 - Beep beep beep

I was still at my parents house today as today was the last day of my Easter holidays. Anyway, I've noticed more new sounds at my parents house today which I have never noticed before despite still not being able to follow the family conversation.

The new sounds I heard today were: beeping in the kitchen when I was making coffee (initially I thought it was the phone ringing, then I realised no one was coming to the phone and so I couldnt think what else it could be except the dishwasher and so it was), microwave beeps on my parents microwave at regular intervals for about a minute after finishing and being able to hear the blackbird sing outside from inside the conservatory.

I havent had new sounds for a while, so its good that I have new batch of them coming in again.

Easter Sunday - Sunday 12th April 2009 - Sirens and bees and localisation of sounds

Today at lunchtime we had nice drinks outside in the garden. I noticed that I could hear a siren. I asked my Mum where it was. She said going pass the Cricket Ground which was a mile away. I thought wow, I can hear a siren from a mile away!! But as I only have one implant, and hear nothing in the other ear, I cannot tell where a sound is coming from. When I hear the traffic from the main road at the front of the house from my parents garden, I ask them which way is it going? My mum told me, and I said how do you know. She said its all down to having two ears working to be able to tell direction. grrr...wish I can do that. Would save me alot of confusion!! Also I noticed that the noise of that siren was one second louder and then the next it was quieter then louder again. My mum explained that it was because the sound is carried in the wind!! But hey I can hear sirens a mile away and also I heard the bumble bee buzz for the first time - eurghh!!

Friday 10th April 2009 - The Blackbird sings!!

Today I have returned to my parents house for the Easter break. We were working in the garden today as a family, clearing the garden and tidying it up for the summer. Whilst we were out there, I noticed that there were lots of bird sounds and I noticed a new one that I hadn't heard before that was more melodic. I asked my Mum which bird was that more melodic one and she explained that it was the blackbird. Finally I have heard the blackbird. That was the bird my parents tried to get me to hear last summer but it never happened cos the blackbird wasn't singing when I was at home cos it was always raining.

Saturday 4th April 2009 - Deaf Day

Today I went to City Lit in London for Deaf Day. This was brilliant as I met up with alot of my Deaf friends and had brilliant chats with them in BSL all day. There were several Deaf people there with Cochlear Implants. I had no problem with the attitude of Deaf people there cos I have an implant and another one of my Deaf friends who is also a strong BSL user whom I havent seen for 6 years was very interested in it :-) Most of the Deaf people at the Deaf Day, we all met up in a pub in Holborn afterwards and ruled the pub. It was great to catch up with everyone and then afterwards a group of us went for a lovely meal in Piccadilly Circus :-) I stayed overnight with my Sister as I was helping her sort out her new wireless broadband network.